This article is sponsored by Harrogate Family Law.

Coercive control is a form of domestic abuse in which a person attempts to exert an unreasonable, oppressive amount of control over their partner’s life.

Harrogate Family Law are specialists in this area and they are helping a growing number to resolve the difficult situation.

Abuse does not have to be physical or sexual to be an offence. Coercive control can include emotional and psychological abuse and can be very subtle, so is harder to identify.

By its very nature, coercive control can instil confusion and self-doubt in the victim, but Harrogate Family Law can help you be clear about what is taking place and prepare a safe route out of the situation for you and your family.

Andrew Meehan, director of Harrogate Family Law, said:

“We are getting clients from all over the country who are married to a controlling, narcissistic spouse. They have often been controlled financially and emotionally and have been kept in the dark about money. They often don’t have a clear picture of how much things cost and how they can afford to pay for things.

“We can offer advice and help them to move forward with a secure financial future.”

What are the signs of coercive control?

There are clear indications that the relationship you are in has spiralled towards coercive control, even if you have received no physical harm and the relationship is not necessarily “toxic”.

Coercive control happens when:

• You are isolated from your support system, i.e. family and friends
• Your activity is being monitored all day everyday – known as invasive surveillance
• Your freedom and autonomy is being denied – such as access to money or health and body freedom
• You are subjected to name-calling, shaming or criticism
• Your children are being turned against you, known as parental alienation
• You are subjected to jealous accusations

Mr Meehan has offered his three top tips on what to do if you think you are a victim of coercive control.

You are not alone

“There are a lot of people in the same situation. They are often conditioned to think there is no way out for them and they are effectively trapped.

“But their situation is something we see a lot of and something we can sort out for them. The situation is not hopeless.”

Get legal advice early 

“We have a niche in dealing with people who have been controlled by spouses or those who are married to a narcissist. We have got clients from all over the country and overseas looking for our expertise.

“Speak to a solicitor who understands how to deal with these kinds of people.”

Everyone’s situation is different

“Try to come to your first meeting as prepared as possible so that the advice we give can be as tailored to your circumstances as much as possible.

“This is difficult if your finances are being controlled. However, have a think about what you do know and we can take things from there. We can then be prepared to deal with what is most important to you.”

For a confidential chat with one of Harrogate Family Law’s expert solicitors regarding coercive control, call 01423 594 680 or email enquiries@harrogatefamilylaw.co.uk

Business Breakfast is sponsored by Harrogate law firm Truth Legal. 

Seven Harrogate law firms have been included in the Legal 500 Guide for 2023.

Berwins, LCF Law, McCormicks and Raworths are all listed across a number of areas of law, including corporate and commercial, employment and private client work.

Harrogate Family Law and Stowe Family Law are listed for their work in this area, with Raworths, LCF Law and McCormicks also included.

McCormicks is mentioned for its sports law, Berwins for its IT and telecoms law provision, and Hempsons for its work in healthcare and with charities.

The latest version of the guide was welcomed by Raworths, whose managing partner Simon Morris, pictured above, said:

“We’re extremely proud to be recognised once again in the Legal 500 Guide, as this cements our reputation as one of the leading law firms based in the north of England delivering a genuinely integrated service to business and private clients.

“The guide highlights our commitment to delivering a high-quality service through our genuine team approach. We feel that our personal approach to looking after our clients sets us apart, and it certainly has helped us to build trusted, longstanding relationships with our growing client portfolio.

“Half of our lawyers are referenced in the guide across various practice areas, which is a testament to their knowledge and skills. It is particularly gratifying as the results are based on independent feedback and reiterates our approach which puts clients first.”

Chief executive Paul Berwin said he was particularly pleased the guide described Berwins’ support for clients, adding:

“I am naturally delighted to see the firm recognised in this way. We have some outstanding lawyers and it is a testament to them that their teams have been recognised as regional leaders.

“Essential though this deep expertise is to the way we support clients, what is particularly pleasing to see is the way the guide have identified Berwins’ high standards of service.

“From day one, we have had two overriding mantras – that care for the client is paramount and that, if we cannot do something well, we won’t do it at all. This outstanding directory recognition, built as it is on the feedback of clients and commentators, affirms the fact that we are being successful in both.”

The prestigious guide, which lists the top legal practices for each region of the UK, is independently researched and uses data from in-house peers.

Read more:

• Business Breakfast: Harrogate district hotels win national awards
• Business breakfast: Ripon firm invests £250,000 in robot laser welder

Late businessman behind coach donation to Knaresborough special school

A school in Knaresborough has been given a coach thanks to the generosity of a late businessman.

The Forest School received a special Variety Sunshine Coach in memory of Paul Ziff, a Yorkshire philanthropist who was a lifelong supporter and former regional chairman of Variety.

The children’s charity has helped to provide more than 5,700 coaches for SEND schools and other non-profit organisations working with disabled and disadvantaged children and young people across the UK since it was founded in 1949.

At The Forest School, 94% of pupils have speech, language and communication needs, and the specially-adapted minibus will give them the chance to visit new places and gain experiences which will support their development.

Mr Ziff’s widow Lea said:

“Paul had a lifelong passion to help others, and in particular to champion young people and unlock their full potential, no matter what their circumstances or disabilities. That’s why he was so dedicated to working tirelessly for Variety for so many years, having the same aims at heart.

“I chose Forest School to be the recipient of this sunshine coach, as Paul himself suffered from severe aphasia for 20 years so we both knew how challenging language and communication impairments can be.

“I really hope this bright new sunshine coach will broaden horizons for all the children at Forest School and give them the freedom and opportunity to experience many wonderful  educational and recreational days out.”

Paul Ziff’s widow Lea hands over the Sunshine Coach keys to The Forest School

Paul James, co-headteacher at The Forest School, said:

“We are extremely grateful to our sponsor and Variety, the Children’s Charity for providing a Sunshine Coach.

“A donation such as this means our pupils will benefit for many years to come by having transport to allow them to take part in opportunities such as horse riding, swimming, learning in the community, theatre visits and school residentials. Thank you so much.”

Mr Ziff was made chairman of the Leeds committee of Variety from 1975 and continued his support for the charity until his death in 2020, aged 84. As well as helping to organise coaches for schools across the region, he set up numerous events including the sportsman of the year dinner and the first ever woman of the year awards.

This article is sponsored by Harrogate Family Law.

If the prospect of divorce has crossed your mind, you’ll know it’s one of the biggest decisions you could ever make.

Whether you have been married for many years or only a short time, considering ending the relationship can be daunting: from finances to children, there are many aspects which make the situation feel complicated.

Before you make a decision, here are some suggestions which could make the process easier for everyone involved.

Speak to a solicitor

This may feel like a big step, and one which should come much further down the line, but it’s actually something many people do in the early stages – even before speaking to their spouse.

Andrew Meehan, director of Harrogate Family Law, said:

“A lot of people come to us when they haven’t even decided it’s finally over.

“It’s the biggest decision you will ever make in your life, but most people have never been through it before.

“Knowledge is power: people want to know what they are in for and what they would potentially come out with.”

Choose the right law firm

It’s important to do your research and be confident in your choice. Your solicitor will need to know everything about your life, including your finances, so make sure it’s someone you feel comfortable with.

Solicitors are not just there to resolve disputes, but are an essential part of ensuring any agreement is legally sound.

Mr Meehan said:

“Even if you have agreed a settlement with your ex-partner, it still needs to be put into a court order so it’s binding.

“People sometimes think that the introduction of no-fault divorces means they don’t need to have everything done through solicitors, but that’s not the case.

“Whether it’s an amicable settlement or things are more contentious, it is really important to get the right advice to ensure your settlement is fair from the outset and will be fair to you in the future too.”

Do your research

In many divorces, there is an imbalance of assets between the two parties. While one person having a higher income than another can be obvious, it’s often also the case that pensions, trusts, business ownership and other factors need to be considered to ensure the settlement is fair.

Getting all the information together will help your solicitor to ensure you get what is fair and that your needs for the future will be protected.

Mr Meehan said:

“We deal with a lot of cases where there is a family business to consider, or where one partner has focused on their career to earn money for the family while the other has taken a step back to raise the children and look after things at home.

“Not only does that mean their current incomes are vastly different, but it also means their future earning potential, their pension provision and their other assets can be affected quite significantly.

“Knowing all of these details helps us to get the full picture of the finances and ensure they are split fairly, so one partner is not disadvantaged because of the role they played while the family was together.”

Don’t panic

Facing divorce at the outset can be a worrying time, even if it is likely to be amicable.

When you add in potential challenges, such as one partner making the situation more difficult or displaying narcissistic tendencies, it can feel insurmountable.

However, your solicitor should be there to guide you through it and ensure the end result is right for you, said Mr Meehan.

“Our strapline is ‘on your side’ and that’s what a good solicitor should be. They should understand your worries and help to put your mind at ease.

“We know that people are often concerned about the necessities: keeping a roof over their heads, having money to pay bills and cover their legal fees, and managing their finances before the settlement is agreed.

“Having the right solicitor who understands this is absolutely essential for your peace of mind, now and in the future.”

This post is sponsored by Ison Harrison Solicitors

After many years of campaigning and discussion by solicitors such as Ison Harrison, ‘no-fault divorce’ is going to stop the law putting divorcing couples up against one another. From April 2022, no-fault divorce is being introduced into English law as a means of legally separating two spouses.

How does the no-fault divorce differ from the current divorce process?

Currently, the person applying for a divorce can only do so on the grounds that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. To do that they must be able to show evidence of at least one of the five key facts:

• Adultery – that the other spouse has committed adultery and they find it intolerable to live with them.
• Unreasonable behaviour – that the other spouse has behaved in such a way that the petitioner can no longer reasonably be expected to live with them.
• Desertion – that the other spouse has deserted the petitioner for a minimum of two years.
• Separation: two years – that the two parties have lived separately for a continuous period of two years and both parties agree to the divorce.
• Separation: five years – that the two parties have lived separately for a continuous period of five years and one or both parties agree to the divorce.

A no-fault divorce removes the need to rely on these five facts and hopes to provide an easier route to a more amicable separation. Therefore, a couple can apply for a divorce without apportioning blame.

Shaun Hulme, partner at Ison Harrison, said:

“At present couples often find themselves relying upon trivial issues simply as a means to meet and surmount the legal test. Thinking of reasons can be quite hurtful to both parties.”

How does a no-fault divorce process work?

• One or both parties can make an application to the Court for a ‘Divorce Order’
• Within that application must be a statement to confirm that the marriage has irretrievably broken down
• There is then a minimum period of 20 weeks from the date of this application to the next stage of the divorce process. This is known as the ‘period of reflection’, designed to give couples time and space to consider their actions and whether they still wish to proceed
• Prior to a ‘Conditional Order’ (formerly known as the Decree Nisi) being issued, one or both of the parties must re-confirm that they still wish to separate
• Currently, there is a minimum period of six weeks and one day between the Decree Nisi (Conditional Order) and the Decree Absolute (Final Order) being issued, and this will remain in place.

What are the benefits expected from the no-fault divorce?

While there is a perception that divorce can be messy, antagonistic and bitter, many couples separate on amicable terms and certainly wish to maintain a positive relationship on the basis that their marriage simply ran its course on natural grounds. In such cases, the mood is sad and reflective, and couples mainly wish to divide assets and make arrangements for children in the most cordial way. This can happen, but increasingly it has been felt within the legal sector that having to apportion blame can create bad feeling and finger-pointing, where there isn’t necessarily any blame on either party. In other words, evidence of one of the ‘five facts’ can be hard to find, and these conditions have become outdated as ‘cover-all’ terms.

Ison Harrison Solicitors strongly support the long-overdue introduction of the no-fault divorce, and with vast experience of dealing with separating couples, we are confident the move will reduce the scope for disagreement.

To find out more about our expert family law services, visit www.isonharrison.co.uk/no-fault-divorce/ or call our Harrogate branch on 01423 228 111.

HGTE collaborates with BrewBar for Harrogate Homeless Project

Sara Shaw, owner of HGTE clothing, is collaborating with BrewBar cafe in Harrogate to help the homeless.

A portion of the profits raised from the sale of the clothing will go to the Harrogate Homeless Project.  The company has already raised over £14,000 for the charity since Christmas 2016.

Ms Shaw explained that the idea of HGTE is to not just to raise funds, but also to raise awareness about homelessness in Harrogate.

“The aim is to support a vital local charity with a quality product that is ethical.

“BrewBar is situated right in the heart of Harrogate, and Simon has such a loyal customer base due to his teams brilliant customer service – I couldn’t say no.”

Simon Somerville-Frost, owner of Brewbar, added:

“In our collaboration we provide a space for Sara’s vision to take place. To see the benefits of these contributions to the community is truly humbling, and we look to continue to give back to the community.”

HGTE started as a one-off, with Ms Shaw printing 25 sweatshirts with the logo. However, it continues to grow, with pieces being posted internationally.

From law graduate to part-owner of Harrogate Family Law: Laura Mounsey 

Laura Mounsey who only became a qualified solicitor at Harrogate Family Law in 2019 has now become a partial owner of the firm.

Andrew Meehan, managing director of HFL, said:

“I am delighted to announce that Laura Mounsey is now a part owner and director of Harrogate Family Law. Laura joined HFL in 2015 and will be a key part in taking the firm from strength to strength as it continues to grow.”

Ms Mounsey was awarded the Cohen and Career Guarantee Scholarship at BPP Law school and was recognised with a ‘Safe Pair of Hands’ award for her ability to help people.

Ms Mounsey wrote a series of columns for the Stray Ferret in 2020:

• Laura’s Law: Is your ex weaponising your children?
• Laura’s Law: Leaving an abusive relationship
• Laura’s Law: How to prepare yourself for getting divorced

Provenance Inns wins ‘Best Food Offer’ at Publican Awards 2022

Provenance Inns and Hotels has won a national award for ‘Best Food Offer,’ after being recognised for its consistent, high-quality dishes.

The North Yorkshire based company was up against competitors such as well-known Farmhouse Inns which owns 70 sites across the UK.

Group executive chef, Jason Wardill, said:

“To beat off every other pub company in the UK is testament to our fresh food, and our hard-working chefs who deliver the menu to the same standard every day across all seven sites.”

The company continues to expand across North Yorkshire, having acquired The Coach and Horses in Harrogate last year which it hopes to refurbish.

Read More:

• The Knox: One of Harrogate’s best spots for outside dining
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Ripon estate agent wins gold award for the city 

Ripon-based estate agent, Davis & Lund, has won the British Property Award for Ripon.

The agency will now be shortlisted for a number of national awards set to be announced later this year.

This award focused on customer service levels which the British Property Awards judges found to be “outstanding” at Davis & Lund.

Paul Lund, director, said:

“I am delighted and exceptionally proud of my team for all their hard work helping us win this award. Not only are we market leading agents in Ripon, we have now been recognised with this award.”

Chris Davis, co-director added:

“We have also just found out this week that we have won that same award for our new branch in Thirsk, which just goes to show customer service is at the heart of everything we do.”

Chris Davis

Harrogate mobile app business targets growth after a difficult two years

Harrogate-based mobile app business, Mobile Tornado, has said that after an unpredictable two years is it is now focused on growth.

The listed company reported total revenue of £2.59m for the year ended 31 December 2021, up from £2.53m in 2020. Its pre-tax losses also reduced to £861,000 from £1.39m.

Jeremy Fenn, chairman of Mobile Tornado, said:

“It has been an extremely difficult two years for the business. The principal markets we operate in have been badly hit by the pandemic, dramatically constraining our business development activities.

“We have managed to maintain our revenue levels through this period, and executed significant improvements to our operational efficiency, such that we have reduced our operating expense from £3.16m in 2019 to £2.53m in 2021. This has allowed the business to trade through the period with modest losses, funded by a small working capital facility provided by our principal shareholder, and no further recourse to shareholders.”

Mr Fenn added that business had been “promising” in the first quarter of 2022.

This article is sponsored by Consilia Legal.

Microsoft entrepreneurs, Bill and Melinda Gates, publicly announced last week that their marriage had ‘irretrievably broken down’. The billionaire philanthropists have suggested that they want a conciliatory divorce to separate their assets, estimated to be worth $146 billion.

Local family solicitor, Sophie Arrowsmith, from Consilia Legal in Harrogate and Leeds, notes that the Gates family have been pioneers for change and forward thinking, which will stand them in good stead when entering discussions.

Sophie said:

“When the news story hit the headlines, the media were scrambling for information as to how the parties were going to begin to untangle their enormous wealth.”

“Although the circumstances of this particular family’s wealth may be uncommon, the unfortunate breakdown of their marriage is not. Helpfully, the pair have considered alternative dispute resolution when arranging their divorce. This public move to amicably settle matters will likely persuade others to consider mediation and other forms of resolution first to avoid lengthy and costly proceedings.”

“The Ministry of Justice have recently implemented a scheme of allocating £1million to provide vouchers, worth up to £500 per case, which will reduce the costs of mediation for separating families. The scheme has been praised for encouraging families to consider a constructive and conciliatory process outside of the courts.”

 

Consilia Legal offers a range of alternative dispute resolution methods, including mediation services. Mediation is a process where separated couples meet with our accredited family mediators and explore options as to how to can reach important decisions for their family, whether in relation to children and/or financial matters. Mediation can lead to more amicable resolutions in a non-inflammatory way and can reduce the stress of complicated proceedings.

To discuss mediation, contact Sophie Arrowsmith or Laura Clapton at Consilia Legal in Leeds on 0113 3229 222, or email s.arrowsmith@consilialegal.co.uk and l.clapton@consilialegal.co.uk

Visit www.consilialegal.co.uk for more details of legal services available.

This article is sponsored by LCF Barber Titleys.

TV presenter, Kate Garraway, has talked openly to the media about the problems dealing with her husband’s bank accounts and insurance policies whilst he remains in hospital recovering from Covid-19. A nurse has also recently featured in the news after being arrested for trying to remove her elderly mother, who has dementia, from her care home, prior to the latest lockdown.

Local solicitor, Katie Hindmarsh, from LCF Barber Titleys in Harrogate, believes both these situations would have been avoided if a Lasting Power of Attorney had been in place.

Katie said:

Katie Hindmarsh

“Both may be newsworthy examples, but unfortunately they are not unusual cases. During my time as a private client solicitor I have seen families experience many difficulties in assisting their loved ones with decisions about their health and their finances because Lasting Powers of Attorney have not been set up.

“There is a common misconception that next of kin are able to make decisions on behalf of an incapacitated person. This is incorrect. The only way that an individual has legal authority to make decisions on behalf of someone else in relation to their health is if they are appointed as their attorney. The same applies to decisions in respect of property and finances and often people have no idea that being married or in a civil partnership does not hold any legal weight as far as financial institutions are concerned.

“We would therefore urge everyone to consider putting in place a Lasting Power of Attorney, not only for their property and finances, but also for their health and welfare. This would give people peace of mind and enable their loved ones to have the practical ability to do what the person who is incapacitated would want them to.”

A Lasting Power of Attorney allows someone to nominate a trusted friend or relative to make financial or health-related decisions on their behalf. This can be used for business reasons, or for personal reasons including the situation where a person has lost mental or physical capacity. Lasting Powers of Attorney must be registered with the Office of the Public Guardian before they can be used, a process which can take up to three months, therefore it’s important not to delay.

Contact Katie Hindmarsh or Wendy Scarr at LCF Barber Titleys in Harrogate on 01423 502211 for more details, or email Katie.Hindmarsh@lcf.co.uk and Wendy.Scarr@lcf.co.uk.

LCF Barber Titleys is part of LCF Law. Visit www.lcf.co.uk for more details of legal services available.

Laura’s Law is a monthly legal column, written by family lawyer, Laura Mounsey. Laura is a partner at Harrogate Family Law. She specialises in dealing with divorced couples and people who have been in abusive relationships. Her role involves protecting her clients’ assets and income if they want to live with someone or get married and resolving disagreements about children.

This week Laura advises on what to do if your ex is weaponising your children.

If you are in the process of separating (or thinking about doing so), you may be terrified about losing your children. You may be worried that your ex will be so intent on ‘revenge’, that they will try to weaponise your children against you.

Typically, by the time that people ask for my help, they tell me that their:

1. Children’s opinion of them has become very negative
2. Children are acting out against them and rejecting them
3. Ex keeps taking their children away from them
4. Ex has made all sorts of allegations about them as a parent

It isn’t uncommon for children to struggle with their parents’ separation. However, sometimes your ex may throw your children into the middle of a conflict by manipulating their view of you and burdening them by having to ‘choose a side’. Being bombarded with such responsibility and pressure can cause them significant distress.

Read More: 

• Laura’s Law: Laura discusses the signs you could be married to a narcissist
• Huge demand for Xmas attractions in Harrogate district as bookings open

It is not fair for your ex to try to damage your children’s relationship with you. However, it can and does happen. It’s likely to get worse the longer you leave it. Sadly, I have seen an increase in this behaviour during the pandemic lockdown. Particularly where children have been withheld from seeing one of their parents.

Often, if you approach your ex on your own and challenge them about the way that they are treating your children, they will deny it. This often backfires and allows your ex to spin your concerns against you, as if you are in the wrong. This can leave you feeling trapped without a way out.

Does this sound familiar?

When you separate, your children need you both more than ever and that should be a priority. However, your ex may see your children as a way to get what they want, regardless of what damage they may cause getting there.

It isn’t impossible to deal with your ex’s behaviour however it is time critical because the more you delay, the more damage may be done. To disarm your ex, for your children’s sake as well as your own, it is vital that you reach out.

You should also consider:

1. Telling your ex in writing about your concerns and set out why
2. Keeping a log of what has been happening
3. Asking for professional support for you and/or the children

This is particularly important, now that we are in another lockdown. Even though we cannot meet in person for now, you can still reach out and get help. The court is also still open, so you are not alone.

To find out more about Laura and her speciality in family law, click here.

This legal column is written by family lawyer, Laura Mounsey. Laura is a partner at Harrogate Family Law. She specialises in dealing with divorced couples and people who have been in abusive relationships. Her role involves protecting her clients’ assets and income if they want to live with someone or get married and resolving disagreements about children. In this column, she discusses the red flags to look out for that indicate you may be married to a narcissist and how to get out.

I have experienced the trauma of divorcing a narcissist first-hand. I am now a lawyer who specialises in helping people who are terrified of standing up to them.

Typically, I find that many of my clients have been conditioned to think that they have no self-worth. They have been controlled and bullied for years. They believe that any wrongdoing is their fault and that they do not deserve any better. The idea of saying “enough is enough” paralyses them with fear; so worn down, they feel trapped with no way out.

Over time, I have heard many people who sit in front of me say that their ex is:

• Controlling

They tell them what to do and what not to do. They are scolded for “stepping out of line”. However, the rules always change, and they never win. Instead, they live their lives walking on eggshells.

• Arrogant

They think they are superior and expect that others cater to, and admire, them. Even though they have inflated self-esteem, beneath it, hides crippling insecurities which cause them to lash out.

• Vain

They are obsessed with what other people think about them. They will put others down to make themselves seem better than they are. They are obsessed with attention and will often play the victim if needed.

• Manipulative

They will often lie and pin people against each other. They will isolate people and are prepared to do anything to get what they want. Often, they undermine others around them so much that they start to question their own judgement, not their ex.

Does this ring any alarm bells?

Leaving a narcissist is daunting. A client once told me that her ex would do everything in his power to destroy her so that she ended up in a shoe box on the Stray with nothing but her children.

But she held her nerve and took the plunge, broke free and now has a very comfortable life that is all hers.

If, like her, you know deep down that you need to leave but you do not know what to do, the best thing that you can do is get specialist advice from a divorce lawyer who knows what you are dealing with.

Read More: 

• Police in North Yorkshire warn about rise in “romance fraud” 
• Huge demand for Xmas attractions in Harrogate district as bookings open